You know that moment. You’re at Publix or Target just trying to grab a gallon of milk and maybe sneak in a snack for yourself because let’s be honest you deserve it. Suddenly your child decides aisle 7 is the perfect stage for a full blown meltdown. We’re talking screams tears maybe the dramatic flop onto the floor. And then it happens you feel the eyes.
The stares.
The “wow what a horrible parent” stares.
The “did they do something terrible to that child” stares.
And in that split second you want the world to swallow you whole.
Why so many parents just stop going out
I can’t count how many times parents have told me:
“I don’t even try restaurants anymore.”
“The park is too stressful.”
“I’d rather just stay home than deal with the stares.”
I hear it all the time. And honestly I get it. It’s overwhelming it’s embarrassing and it feels like everyone in the world is watching.
But here’s the problem when we avoid those places our kids learn that tantrums are the magic button that gets them out of anything they don’t like.
Who’s really training who
Kids are smart smarter than we sometimes give them credit for.
Tantrum in the store → parent rushes out → child thinks “Perfect this is how I make shopping trips disappear.”
It’s not about being a bad parent. It’s about kids figuring out what works. And if screaming in aisle 7 works guess what you’ll get in aisle 7 next time. An instant replay.
Why we need to face it together
This is where ABA therapy comes in. When parents tell me they can’t go to the store or a restaurant or the movies I tell them That’s exactly where we need to go.
Here’s why:
- You get support. You don’t have to handle it alone.
- Your child gets practice. Skills only stick if they work in real life not just in the living room.
- Doors open. Once your child learns “I can handle this” suddenly family dinners parks and even Target runs aren’t so scary anymore.
Sometimes it’s more than behavior
For children with autism meltdowns can also be about the environment not just “getting their way.”
If your child covers their ears the second you step inside chances are it’s not about refusing it’s about noise. That fluorescent hum or background music that we barely notice can feel like a jackhammer to them.
The solution Support not avoidance. Noise reducing headphones. Teaching how to ask for breaks. Practicing coping strategies. Step by step it gets easier.
The real takeaway
You’re not a bad parent. Your child isn’t “too much.” And isolation isn’t the answer.
Public tantrums aren’t the end of the world they’re a teaching moment. With the right support your child can learn how to cope communicate and thrive in the same spaces every other kid enjoys.
So the next time you’re in aisle 7 and it feels like everyone’s eyes are on you remember this you’re not alone. And with the right tools and maybe some fun colored headphones you and your child can turn that grocery store trip into just another part of life not the Olympic Games of tantrums.